Does anyone know a good guide or advice for teen parenting for a single father?

December 12th, 2008
parenting
toxicpromise asked:


I need either advice or a parenting guide for a single father of a teen daughter. I’m not being a brat either, he really did ask me to find out other people’s opinions for him, so honest answers please.

Jon

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Posted in Parenting | 4 Comments »

What do you think of parenting classes that do a mechanical baby project?

December 10th, 2008
parenting
FantasyBookworm asked:


I’m in a parent/child development class and in November, we’re doing a baby project. For this, we get a mechanical baby that cries every three to four hours and we have to hold a key in their back for about 10-15 minutes, to symbolize feeding them. We get the babies for five days, over night and over a weekend. We also have to take them to classes, when the teachers allow it. I cannot wait until we get to do this project, it’s most of the reason I wanted to take this class.

Anyway, just wondering your thoughts on the project and if you think it’s a good idea.

Oh, and btw, I’m a senior in high school, the class is open to ninth-twelfth, I think.

Leslie

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Posted in Newborn & Baby | 4 Comments »

I Found Parenting Magazines To Be A Useful Source Of Information

December 5th, 2008
parenting
Ann Marier asked:


If you’re a new parent, you can get a lot of valuable information, lift your spirits, solve problems, find healthful recipes and ease your worries all in one shot, simply by picking up one of the parenting magazines you’ll find on any newsstand, bookstore or supermarket. Even “seasoned” parents would do well to take a look at some of these helpful and information-packed magazines.

Some parenting magazines may target certain age groups of children, while others aim to be comprehensive resources on issues facing parents today. While women make up the major audience, there are also men who are regular readers, seeing the benefits they’ll find in being a smarter parent.

Browsing the table of contents of a few of the parenting magazines, you’ll find general categories of the types of topics they cover. It’s up to you to decide which parenting magazine will prove most useful to your situation.

Most have regular features and columns addressing social issues your child may encounter, in school or at play, such as peer pressure, school bullying, stress and drugs. These are real world problems for all children and these articles can help you understand the dynamics and ways to handle them, giving your child guidance that helps them work towards a successful outcome.

Parenting magazines also present pieces on child development, taking an in-depth look at the problems different age groups are likely to encounter. For example, girls in their pre-teens may feel awkward about their bodies, becoming overly critical of themselves without realizing they’re experiencing a normal stage of development. This type of article can go along way towards your own understanding of the situation, enabling you to ease your child’s worries and help her through this difficult time.

Articles on health topics may be directed at children or parents. We all know that junk food and sugar are bad diet choices, but with aisles of these foods lurking everywhere, it’s hard to keep this entirely away from your kids. You may find yourself better equipped to provide convincing arguments that will help your kids see for themselves that a change is needed.

Cooking features are other regular features in parenting magazines, which can help you get a tasty and family friendly meal on the table in a hurry, with a watchful eye on your family’s nutrition. You may learn time-saving techniques that allow you to have more time spent with your children.

Working Mom’s often are under stringent schedules, which can add to stress and anxiety, decreasing your effectiveness as a parent. Parenting magazines offer solutions and tips to help deal with this common situation.

Homemaking tips, child safety articles and educational features such as developing good study habits or net resources round out the typical content of parenting magazines.

So next time you’re at the grocery, take a moment to browse through a few of these magazines. You’re sure to find one worthy of a subscription.



Marie

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Posted in Advice | No Comments »

Don’t Let the Fear of Screwing Up your Kids Screw you Up as a Parent

November 29th, 2008
parenting
Mitchell H Milch asked:


Let’s face it, we all want to avoid making the same mistakes raising our kids we believe our parents or surrogate parents made raising us. This is especially the case when we still hold grudges toward parents for what has or has not become of us. Under this historical cloud, we know yet may not admit to the old adage: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” What this adage speaks to is the IMPOSSIBILITY of NEVER being like the parents we recall as having “screwed us up.” As much as we swear that we will never treat our kids the way we were treated, the moments inevitably arise when we sound and act like our parents. This is human nature. We will on occasion, identify and repeat the most noxious and self defeating parenting practices employed by our parents.

I am excluding from this discussion all parenting practices that are criminal and traumatic if they occurred even once. I am referring only, to behaviors we are all guilty of from time to time and, that are only damaging if they persist unchecked over the course of many years. Such behaviors are not an immediate cause for concern. Some examples are: Yelling at our kids, being overly critical of them, and disciplining them in ways that are unfair and unreasonable. An occasional instance of poor judgment on our parts will not damage our children’s psyches. Our children will survive the inevitable physical bumps and bruises in exploring their worlds. Likewise, “good enough” parenting is imperfect and fraught with painful yet, invaluable learning experiences. As parents and children work out their differences emotional bumps and bruises will be looked upon in retrospect as developmental markers.

The real yet, too often overlooked potential for us to do harm to our kids may stem from the unintentional consequences of our obsessive and compulsive dread that we have been hopelessly “screwed up” by our parents and now these scars will render us helpless but, to “screw up” our own kids. Our horror at our own actions whether admitted or not, is not an accurate barometer of our parental abuses of power. More accurately, it is a barometer of ill will we still harbor toward parents we still behave like from time to time. The problems we create for ourselves originate with the labels attached to these grudges. We tend to generalize offensive and perhaps, injurious traits into blanket characterizations that are believed to be as amenable to change as spots on a leopard. Therefore, when faced with painful likenesses to our parents we are apt to judge ourselves as “bad,” “inadequate,” “unlovable,” etc., in the most unforgiving manner imaginable. Although, we are responsible for turning against ourselves we often deny responsibility for, and try to divorce ourselves from these negative identifications with parental figures we have not forgiven. We all do this to varying degrees by blaming our children for triggering the feelings we associate with these negative labels when “they push our buttons.”

In these moments when we get lost in self centered, emotional time warps, we stop thinking about how our actions may affect our children. In fact, the more years we wear a lament across our chest that reads: “Oh, I could’ve been _____or done_____ by now if my childhood had been different,” the more we tend to blame our children each and every time they push our buttons and remind us which tree we haven’t fallen too far from. These are expectable, normal and correctable bumps along the parenting trail. If we can accept what has happened to us and who we are today, we are in a position to work on and change those qualities we find distasteful. If not, we are likely to make our children miserable for what our parents made us miserable over.

For example, if we confuse even healthy self interest with a parent who was hated for being self centered, distant and uninvolved during our formative years, we may get in touch with self hatred and guilt and wind up resenting our children, when they loudly protest our requests for quiet time for ourselves. If however, we are able to take a step back, own, accept, and reflect on our reactions, we may within a minute or two calmly communicate to our children that our needs count too and that they must learn to respect them as important.

If after reading this article you are not even a glimmer more hopeful of changing ineffective parenting practices that need to be changed perhaps, you will delve deeper into the specific challenges you face raising your children. If you have already read the latest parenting primers, attended parenting classes, consulted your pediatrician, and still feel uneasy about what is happening at home you may benefit from a consult with a psychotherapist.



Dolores

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Posted in Relationships | No Comments »

What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?

November 27th, 2008
parenting
Brendiie™ asked:


To be more specific, what do you think are the four most important part in parenting a toddler? I know the most important thing is - love but other than this. For example, is Nutrition important? What else? Thanks for your help!

xx. [B]wendii[E]

Jay

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Posted in Parenting | 18 Comments »

Parents as Career Coaches

November 26th, 2008
parenting
Mary Askew asked:


Parents help us discover the gifts and the callings that God has for our lives. Parents help children and teens discover their vocational interests and the motivational gifts. Parents identify the steps and resources that are necessary to develop the qualities and talents that children and teens possess.

Parents know that children and teens receive the vocational interests, abilities, skills, and talents in a seed form. These seeds will develop into careers, jobs, tasks, assignments, or ministries. Then, the talents and gifts will produce earnings, wages, and spiritual rewards as the children receive pleasure from knowing that they are fulfilling the callings that God has placed on their lives.

The Goal of a Parent

A parent receives direction from Proverbs 18:16, Proverbs 22:6, and 1 Peter 4:10.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

1 Peter 4:10 As every man has received a gift, even so minister the same gift one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

Proverbs 18:16 A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.

To learn about abilities, interests, and motivational gifts, parents have many tasks:

Assess children’s and teens’ vocational interests, abilities, skills, beliefs, and values.

Discover potential careers that are linked to children’s and teens’ identified interests.

Help children and teens choose the suitable post-secondary education and training.

Provide resources that help children and teens utilize their vocational interests, abilities, skills, beliefs, and values.

Understand the relationship between education, training, and specific occupations.

Introduce experiences that meet career, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral goals.

Present information on the current and future labor market.

Introduce problem-solving and decision-making strategies, and

Solve career issues, conflicts, and concerns.

The Steps Towards Completing Career Exploration Process

Step One: Preliminary Assessment

Parents must gain access to computerized, online, or paper/pencil career assessments. From these assessments, parents, teens, and children gain knowledge and understanding of our abilities, ambitions, aptitudes, identities, interests, life goals, resources, skills, and values. During this assessment period, parents will evaluate children’s and teens’ readiness for career planning.

Gary W. Peterson and others of the Center for the Study of Technology in Counseling and Career Development University Center, discussed the differences in career planning readiness. Children, teen, and adults can be categorized as:

Decided

Decided yet needing a confirmation

Decided yet not knowing how to implement their decisions

Decided choosing to avoid conflict or stress

Undecided

Undecided with a deferred choice

Undecided yet developmental unable to commit to a decision

Undecided and unable to make a decision because the individual is multi-talented

Children, teen, and adults transition from indecision to decisiveness when they complete the following steps in the career decision making and planning process.

Step Two: Educational and Occupational Exploration

Parents, children, and teens gather information about:

Educational choices

The benefits of educational achievement

The economy or labor market

Occupational choices

Specific occupations and programs of study

Training opportunities

The relationship between work and learning

Positive attitudes towards work and learning

Personal responsibility and good work habits

A typical working day for a specific occupation

Career exploration systems

Step Three: Problem solving

Parents, children, and teens solve career problems by:

Identifying educational and career planning obstacles

Creating solutions or courses of action

Setting achievable goals

Resolving conflict and tension

Making a commitment to reach our God-given potential

Problem solving should take into consideration personal values, interests, skills, and financial resources. Big problems are broken down into smaller, more manageable steps. Achievable goals result in the production of new competencies, attitudes, solutions, as well as educational and training opportunities.

Step Four: Goal Setting and Decision Making

As individuals, parents, children, and teens:

Set, formulate, prioritize, and rank goals

Clearly state our vocational interests, abilities, and values

Derive plans or strategies to implement the solutions

Make a commitment to complete the plans

Understand decision-making processes

Evaluate the primary choice

Consider a secondary occupational choice, if necessary

Decision-making processes include:

Developing learning and career plans

Identifying suitable occupations

Selecting appropriate educational programs

Figuring the costs of educational training

Considering the impact of career decisions.

Step Five: Implementation

While implementing and executing our learning and career plans, parents, children, and teens translate vocational interests, abilities, and skills into occupational possibilities. Parents, children, and teens do reality testing through interviewing current workers, job shadowing, part-time employment, full-time employment, and volunteer work. Parents, children, and teens obtain skill training, for example, social skills, resume writing, networking, and preparations for interviews.

Career Planning Resources

In order to assess gifts, talents, and abilities, parents, children, and teens need career resources. Career planning resources include books, videotapes, audio-tapes, games, workshops, self-assessment inventories, career exploration web-sites, and computer-assisted career guidance programs. These resources are found at libraries, community colleges, and resource centers.

The basis for most of the resources is the National Career Development Guidelines. In 1987, the National Occupational Information Coordinating Committee (NOICC) developed The National Career Development Guidelines. The guidelines were organized into three areas: Self-knowledge, Educational and Occupational Exploration, and Career Planning.

Self-knowledge deals with our self-concept, interpersonal skills, growth, and development.

Educational and occupational exploration reveals the relationships between learning, work, career information skills, job seeking, skill development, and the labor market.

Career planning includes self-assessment, career exploration, decision making, life role formation, goal setting, and the implementation of career choices.

Conclusion

We are each significant, different, and special. Yet, God knows our gifts, talents, and abilities. God has chosen us for special positions and tasks. Our occupations should reflect the callings that God has placed in our lives. Our vocations represent the gifts given to us by God. Our destinies come from God. Parents help children and teens discover God-given talents, abilities, and interests so that children and teens can fulfill God’s purpose for their lives.

As parents, we will use prayer, the Word of God, other books, videotapes, audio-tapes, games, workshops, training materials, self-assessment inventories, career web-sites, computer-assisted career guidance programs, and resource centers to assist us in helping our children, and teens.

References

Miller, Juliet V. (1992) The National Career Development Guidelines, Eric Digest ED347493, ERIC Clearinghouse on Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Michigan

Peterson, G., W., Sampson, J., P., Jr., Reardon, R., C., and Lenz, J., G. (1996) A Cognitive Approach to Career Development and Services, Center for the Study of Technology in Counseling and Career Development, University Center, Suite A4100, Florida State University, Tallahassee, Florida 32306-1035, http://www.fsu.edu/ ~career/techcenter/html



Jill

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Posted in Motivational | No Comments »

Time for a Little Single Parent Romance - You Will Love It

November 26th, 2008
parenting
Francis Githinji asked:


Parenting has never been easy. Most of the time we do not see the work involved in raising children when we see them smartly dressed and good mannered. Behind those beautiful beings there are dedicated and loving parents. Life is not a rigid entity and it accommodates a lot of differences. There are single families where one parent has all the responsibility of bringing up one or more children. Dedication calls for time because the young ones take a lot of time. Every single parent likes spending too much time with the children that sometimes they seem to give up on their social life. There is still hope for single parent romance. The little time they can afford should be quality time spent with someone who is ready to dispense and receive love, romance and happiness.

Single parent romance is a challenge considering the tight schedule. They usually get up as early as possible to ensure that kids are not late for school and they have their break fast and lunch ready all the time. They drive the kids to school, then go to work and work non-stop for an eight hour shift. Children hate to be the last ones to be picked up from school and so the loving single parent has to be there just in time. It is not cute to go out to look for love with the kids in the car and so they head straight home to go and prepare supper, supervise the homework and before they know it, it is time to sleep. The duties are so overwhelming that physical dates are impossible.

With the many online dating sites, single parent romance can be a reality because it only involves sitting down in front of a computer. It does not involve moving around. What can be more convenient for a single parent? In the top dating sites, there are many interesting single parent personals who you can hook up with a click of a mouse. The sites and the facilities offered have proved to be excellent tools for finding single parent romance. With online dating, every single parent is assured of success within the shortest period of time. There are people there in with all sought of experiences and different lifestyles. In such a mix you can’t miss someone who understands your situation perfectly.

For more fulfilling single parent romance, i advice that you get a trusted babysitter. The young ones always need someone to keep an eye on them and for you to have total relaxation, you need to know that your children are in good hands and everything is as it ought to be. Do not look at every relationship in a marriage point of view. The romance moments might not result into anything serious but you will have had your fun. For a healthy relationship with your children it is important for you to have sometime with another adult. A little romance usually goes along way. It affects how you treat yourself and more importantly your beautiful children.



Jonathan

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Posted in Dating | No Comments »

How to get husband to “plug in” to parenting?

November 23rd, 2008
parenting
ADC asked:


For example, my husband has never fed a bottle to either of our children or stayed up with them when they were sick. I really haven’t slept in 3 years.He works a stressful job and sees my job as a stay-at-home mom to do the bulk of the parenting. My problem is that I don’t EVER get a break. I don’t even get 1 hour a week to myself.
The obvious answer is to ask him to pick up the slack when I want to go do something & in turn let him get out too. He says he is too uncomfortable and won’t know what to do while I’m gone. At the same time he doesn’t want to learn how to fix a bottle, etc. He says he has never been comfortable around babies but he feels sure he will be more comfortable with them when they are older. In the meantime I’m so tired I collapse in bed each night with no quality of life. Babysitters are not an option I’m comfortable with. I do have some family who could sit with them and let me get out but it makes me resent him for not being willing to try to parent.

Bobby

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Posted in Parenting | 6 Comments »

Does parenting strictly decide how smart kids turn out or is there some genetic link?

November 16th, 2008
parenting
Seymour Butz asked:


Like I hear people say that “that kid is just too smart.”

Or is it parenting skills that determine how smart someone becomes. Not just parenting skills but parents being ideal role models like parents who are always reading, always having intellectual conversations, parents who give weekly pep talks, etc. etc.

I’m a nice guy but I’m not the smartest guy in the world and I attribute it to my parents. They are not the smartest people themselves, they’re not the most hard working, stuff like that.

What do you think.
I’m talking about nerdy smart. like doing well in school and in your career.

I’m not talking about street smarts.

Bessie

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Posted in Parenting | 3 Comments »

Anyone familiar with the friend of the court system in MI and Parenting time?

November 15th, 2008
parenting
ASINGLEMOM asked:


My fiance has 3 kids from a prior marriage, 2 of them still minors. The kids were taken away from us over the summer because my fiance cancelled their trip (that was scheduled on his parenting time) to their grandma’s. The kids were planning to go to grandma’s and not come back because their grandma is rich and they have friends down there. Now, Christmas is coming, and 1 of the kids have accepted our apologies while the other is calling us stupid etc. The mother is constantly reminding the kids of how her relationship with their father was (it wasn’t pretty, but he never hit, abused in any way his children, she couldn’t keep her legs or mouth shut). She also tells them that he doesn’t love them because he’s barely there to see them… he lives in another state and working 80 hours a week to pay their child support, his rent, car payment, taxes whatever else you can think of. My fiance and ex always argue, pretty ugly convers. what will the friend of the court do in this case?

Clyde

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Posted in Law & Ethics | 1 Comment »

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