Archive for July, 2008

Understanding the World of Single Parents Dating

Sunday, July 20th, 2008
parenting
Francis Githinji asked:


In single Parents Dating, life does not offer perfect family settings that we imagine it should. Sometimes circumstances make us go our separate ways when we notice a missing ingredient. If you are alone again, you should know that you are supposed to walk back into the dating scene but only when you are ready. “Kids are no object” kind of mentality helps a lot in single parent dating. Normally as a single parent you will experience confused feelings and fears. Many are the times we ask “Is it me who is supposed to be busy playing the dating game or is it my teenage daughter? “You should not have such an attitude. You are going to afford time to date as well as take care of your family if it becomes one of your agendas. Dating for single parents can invoke guilty feelings. Some people start thinking that they are offending their children while dating.

Single parents who are in the process of gaining support and custody of their children are usually in dangerous emotional conflicts. The confusion, anger and frustration affect most single parents dating. This especially affects fathers who suffer from a condition popularly known as “fathers’ depression”. This is because they are mostly subjected to paying many child-support bills and the sad part is that they are usually deprived of being with their children as much as they would wish. With the escalating numbers of young girls who are producing babies outside marriage and the sky rocketing divorce cases there are many single parents dating. Dating for single parents is done with some hopes of finding a mate who would help them raise the children. Some single people appreciate the idea of attaining an instant family through marrying a single parent. “Ready made” families are fun to have. Give it a trial.

Dating for single parents means being purely selfless. It calls for a lot of perseverance and understanding. Jane who was a never married single lady with no kids got married to a single father of one girl. Soon she started becoming resentful towards her spouse claiming that he was spending most of his time with his ex-wife and the daughter. She felt so threatened that she quit. It all depends on how much the other person is willing to accept the change in responsibilities. Single parents dating should make a routine of communicating through their problems and making compromises. Do not reject your responsibilities as a parent though your partner resents you. Deal with the initial resistance and if it persists consider dropping the relationship.

All single parents want to be good parents to be emulated by there children. Dating for single parents make them fulfilled and this happiness always spill over and is mostly reflected with how they treat their children. They are psychologically prepared for all their children reactions towards their dating. Single parents dating are faced with a bad perception from the children that the new lover is a stranger who is out to sabotage their fantasy. Understand that your children will not be happy with the new catch since he will in one way or another steal some of your attention from them.



Shannon

What are your thoughts on Attachment Parenting?

Thursday, July 17th, 2008
parenting
karmendancer asked:


I am a very commited attachment parent. I love raising my son with this parenting style. I have found that he is so much more pleasant. However, I have two neighbors who frown when I pick my baby up when he cries. I can’t stand it. One of them told me that my baby is completely spoiled (he’s only 6 months old). I am just wondering if there are other mothers out there who have to deal with others and their opinions. Its frustrating!

Daniel

What to do when you and your husband differ on parenting styles?

Thursday, July 17th, 2008
parenting
d4cav_dragoons_wife84 asked:


My husband and I agree on most everything on a lot of subjects, but parenting is one that we have a hard time agreeing on. My husband was also deployed for the first several months of my son’s life, so it was mainly me doing the parenting. I’ll give an example. My 15 month old son was given greenbeans. He took one bite and decided he didn’t care for them. My husband flew off the handle and got up & put them back in his mouth telling him he will eat every last one of those veggies until they were gone. My thought is that as long as he tried it and doesn’t throw them or say “eww gross” I don’t mind if he doesn’t finish that vegetable. My husband say’s no way no how he will be spoiled and a picky eater. Today my son was trying to get to something that wasn’t his and my husband put him on the other side of the room. That’s fine and I agree. But 30 min. later my son was still not allowed to play on the other side of the room even when the temptation had been removed! What to do?
When told my husband that after 30 min. he should be able to come back over since he wasn’t even going for anything except for his toys and he got pissed off at me! He said “fine, let him walk all over us! let him be spoiled!” I just don’t see the point in keeping him confined for that long when the point of “do not touch” has been well made by then. My husband says “the point to it is that I said stay there and he won’t listen”. It’s like it’s one extreme to the next and my husband says I’m going to raise my son to run all over us. I believe in teaching right from wrong and that our child should listen to us at all times, but not at the extreme my husband takes it to.

Emma

Good Parenting Skills Can be Learned

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
parenting
Jon Arnold asked:


We all want to be good parents and learn good parenting skills. Parenting is a full time job, and sometimes it may seem like MORE than a full time job, but when it gets down to it, we have to acknowledge that as parents, we are going to make mistakes. But one of the keys to good parenting is to recognize those mistakes, accept the mistakes, and learn from the mistakes for the next time.

There are four A’s that point to traits of good parenting.

Availability

Be available for your child. Yes, these are hectic and busy times, but you should never be too busy for your child, especially when they need you. Do not only be available when they say they need you, because chances are high that they will not come right and say that. Offer yourself to them and let them know that you are available to them. Let them know that they are important to you, as they should be. Dedicate a reasonable amount of your time each day to spending it with them. Do not just give them the “leftovers” when you are dog tired from a day at work, but give them quality time. That might even be just watching their favorite TV program with them or reading them a book or going for a short walk with them. It does not necessarily mean to spend money on them, because one of the best things you can give them will not cost you a cent – your love for them, where you show it and they can feel it and know it.

Appreciation

The most powerful drive towards good behavior in children is in being appreciated. When a child does well at something, express your appreciation for them. When they do something nice for you, show your appreciation for that. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and children are especially sensitive to this. Appreciation also helps them make that maturing determination of what is right and what is wrong, based on how appreciated they feel. The more you appreciate their good deeds, the more their behavior will be in line with what you want and expect.

Affection

All of us wants to be loved, especially children. They are constantly searching for ways in which they can be loved by you. You are their focal point and they want to please you by their very nature. You need to be aware that love is the basis and foundation of a lasting relationship.

Acceptance

Everyone wants to be accepted and children are no different. You should go out of your way to show they unconditional acceptance. This provides them with a level of self-worth and helps to keep their self-esteem level high. It also gives them a sense of security in the act of acceptance. If you as their parent cannot accept them, then nobody else will either, and they realize this.

Good parenting is a skill that is learned over time, and with mistakes. Learn from the mistakes and set guidelines to be the best parent you can be.



Tammy

Any good Parenting books that you have read lately?

Friday, July 4th, 2008
parenting
Jadynsmomma asked:


I was at the book store last night looking at parenting books that deal with disapline for teens and or preteens? There are so many, I didnt want to waste money so I am on here asking if you have read any good one’s that you would recomend.

Thank you!

Craig

If you file a proposed parenting plan and the other parent doesn’t respond, what do you do to move forward?

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
parenting
Tonia F asked:


Me son’s father and I are no longer together. We have a temporary parenting plan now, but it was just thrown together and needs to be revised. I filed a proposed parenting plan and had it certified mailed to the father but he refused to get it. It has been almost three months now and he has made no effort to even find out what I have filed (he is a very difficult person). What do I do now? Is something I can file to move on with out him?

Dale