nagaraja rao m r asked: Joy of parenting
Parenting starts with the joy of :
• taking care of the baby
• observing the baby
• seeing the baby grow
• seeing the baby play and react
• the love that the baby would show to its parents
Of course parenting is not a bed of roses, but it is hard work and sometimes very tiring, very difficult job.
Feeding the baby
Feeding the baby is one of the most difficult tasks most mothers have to go through. They have use all their wisdom in cooking and tricking and coaxing the baby to take food !
And while the baby is being fed, in between try to pat very softly on the back, to remove air from the stomach.
If the air does not come out, then either the baby will stop taking food or will start crying after a while due to air bubbles in the stomach.
Even babies will not like the same food over and over again. Dishes have to be spaced !!.
Likes and dislikes of the baby
As time passes by, the child does start to display his/her likes and dislikes.
Sometimes its easy to accept what the baby likes. Sometimes its difficult to understand what and why the baby likes or dislikes something.
Baby / child behaviour
Accepting child’s behaviour as it is, is not always advisable. If the child does something that would normally not be acceptable, then it is better to convey to the baby that it is not to be done. We can convey our feelings by showing angry face or by gesturing not to do and even telling it as such.
If we do not make soft approach to correct baby’s behaviour it can lead to problems as the child grows.
Babies must make noise !
Even if the baby cannot reply back in words, we must keep on talking.
And the baby will normally respond by speaking words that apparently do not have any meaning. A baby which does not make any sounds, must be taken to ENT doctor. Because if the baby can listen, then it will make sounds in reply. If the baby cannot listen then it would not try to make sounds.
Making sounds is an indication that the baby is able to hear us !
Baby / child tricks
One of the most common tricks babies or children use, is to cry to get what they want !
If you give in once, in all probability you will lose control over discipline of the child.
First time itself, explain to the child and let it cry. Do not give in. Repeat this a few times and the child will not use this trick.
Do not give in to crying because you are busy or you have to go to work.
Try to use logic with kids and see if there is anything alternative that can be given.
Another trick kids might use is pretending to be sick !
And this trick is definitely tricky, must mothers should be able to detect it and handle softly / appropriately.
Also kids will try to tell mother, that father agreed for something, without ever discussing with the father. And vice versa. So in the starting stages itself the parent must in a general way speak to their partner and see what the status is.
Of course kids are smart and sometimes we cannot catch them. But if we cross verify with our partners, this trick will not work for long.
Medical
There will be times when the baby will need medical attention be it for the sake of immunization or ailment - God forbid.
In front of the baby, we should try to control our reactions and encourage the baby that things will be fine.
Be it a child or an adult, not revealing the real issue, will save a lot of trouble in recouping.
Never try to give medicines based on your gut feeling.
Keep essential medicines (within expiry date) handy. Take notes from doctor, with regard to administerig medicines.
All mothers must know what quantity of medicine oral or otherwise should be given when the child has a particular level of temperature.
Also all mothers must know what medicines need not be given when a particular medicine is given.
Also the minimum time gap between medicines must be known. It should also be known as to when cold (not iced / chilled) or better absolutely normal water bath be given to reduce temperature.
Ice pads might also be an option to use.
Comparison with other children
Parents must avoid comparing children within the family or relatives or friends.
Every individual is unique and we must be little our kid by comparing with others.
All a parent can do is keep trying on and on to encourage a kid to do or not to do certain thing(s).
If parents compare with other kids, the kids too would do the same. And might even compare other parents with us.
Reward
Well who does not like reward. Children are no exception.
But we must remember the rule - TOO MUCH is TOO BAD.
Neither over do it, nor be too tight in giving rewards.
Never let the kids over focus on rewards, so that the value of rewards is not lost.
Punishment
Punishment too is sometimes needed.
How severe or how simple it has to be - differs case by case. Simple punishment at the starting stages is good and the same must be retained. After punishment, concessions must not be given too quickly. The child must realise that it will loose or miss out your love or something else, otherwise the child is unlikely to learn any lesson or become obedient.
Try to avoid punishing kids in front of others.
Don’t threaten punishment and then totally avoid it. If you do this, threatening will not work. If you threaten then give mild punishment.
If you say that the kid will miss TV show as punishment, then do make sure the kid will miss it. Otherwise your threats will not work.
Education
Encourage your child to do better and teach him to focus on his studies. Try to take time out to be with them and focus.
Once again do not compare your kids performance with that of others, in a manner that might hurt the kid.
Also do not force your kid to achieve what you might not have been able to achieve.
Give your child options to choose from for career and see what he likes. Do not impose your will upon the child.
Even if your kid is good in sports, make sure that he does study as well. The career span of sports persons are usually of short duration - forget about exceptions. Therefore good education to a sports person will help after they bow out of the field.
Career
Upon completion of education, we need to listen to the kids choices and guide them in selection of right organisation to start their career.
Saving / spending / investments
Child must be guided as to savings / spendings and investments. Parents should not take it for granted that since they spent for the kids, the kids earnings are now their share of income.
Of course taking money from the kids is no harm, but it should not become a bad habit.
Pubbing / partying
For reasonable ocassions pubbing or partying (both non-alcoholic) could be allowed, but it should not become a routine affair. It is not a culture of our society. It might not be good for us.
We need not try it to see, if it is good or bad.
Wish you all parents, all the best, all the time.
Albert
