Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Caring for Aged Parents? Beware Caregiver’s Stress

Sunday, October 5th, 2008
parenting
Eileen Silva asked:


If so, you are part of one fourth of American families who are caring for an older family member, an adult child with disabilities, or a friend. According to the AARP, you are one of more than 22.4 million Americans who are now caregivers to older adults, a number that has tripled in the last 10 years alone. The average amount of time these Americans spend on caregiving is about 20 hours per week with many of these hours spent in physically demanding work. With the life spans raising over the past century from 49 -77, some children are actually caring for invalid parents 20 years, longer than the parents spent raising them.

I would like to ask you a question? How is your own personal health? One third of caregivers describe their personal health as fair to poor, and many worry that they won’t outlive the person for whom they are caring. As you and other caregivers struggle to balance caregiving with other responsibilities, including full-time jobs and caring for children, constant stress can lead to “burnout” and health problems. You may feel guilty, frustrated, and angry from time to time, suffer from depression, and become ill easily yourself. Caring for even the most beloved parents can seem like a burden when your own health collapses from endless hours of caring for their needs.

For example, caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) or other kinds of dementia at home can be overwhelming. The caregiver must cope with declining abilities and difficult behaviors that affect even basic activities of daily living and often become hard to manage for both the care receiver and the caregiver. As the disease worsens, the care receiver usually needs 24-hour care.

In addition to the constant care required, caregivers of parents with this type of problem also suffer from the emotional pain of losing communication with parents who no longer recognize them. To sustain this, and other types of prolonged stress and care, you need to call upon other family members, friends, and neighbors for help. If other caregivers aren’t available to fill in, respite care services may be available in the community to help you. Respite care can be a good way for you to get a break (respite) from constant caregiving.

Some caregivers are still raising their own children and feel torn between the needs of their children and the needs of their parents. In fact, in this day of small families, many Americans may have more parents than children. They also feel torn between their own needs for work, vacations, privacy, hobbies, or friends and feelings of guilt, resentment, or even depression or martyrdom. Both aging parents and caregiver children lose independence and privacy. Even the most congenial relationships can suffer from these loses.

Here are some recommendations to help you take care of your own health:

• Eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. Avoid sugars, fats, and salt. Include plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Follow the guidelines of the government’s food pyramid for proper amounts and food types to include in your daily menu. Take a good multivitamin for extra protection.

• Get plenty of rest and sleep, even if you have to enlist help to care for your parents while you rest. Spend some time unwinding and relaxing during the day as well.

• Get regular, healthy exercise at least three days a week. Regular exercise not only reduces stress and improves health, but also produces endorphins, which add to a good feeling mood.

• Keep your own health care up to date, including yearly checkups. If you experience negative feelings, get counseling from doctor or therapist, or share your feelings with good friends.

• Speaking of friends, keep your social life active in order to stay connected with your community and to give an outlet for stress. Seek comfort and support in your faith-based group as well.

• Remember you are not alone. Seek support groups for caregivers, especially if you are caring for a loved one with a disease. Look online for government or state supported groups and help departments. Find community support groups.

• Make arrangements for your own vacations and retreats, for regrouping and refreshing yourself, your spouse, and your own children. Remember, you are not the only one affected by your live-in parent situation. Your entire family experiences changes and stresses along with you. Arrange for someone to stay with your parent and spend some time as a family away from home and those extra responsibilities.

• Remind yourself of the care that your parent lavished on you as a child and how you felt about that parent then. Often, we get so busy that we forget how much we really love our parents, especially in the throes of caring for them. Try to revisit happier days with them and remind both them and yourself of those times. Bring out family pictures and relive happy days together.

If you are a caregiver, remember to care for your own health as well as that of your loved one. Seek comfort, help, time to refresh yourself, and regular exercise to ensure that you will remain able to give that care and still maintain your personal wellness.



Ethel

Aging Parents – Keeping Their Life Meaningful

Monday, August 25th, 2008
parenting
Annabelle Rox asked:


There is little doubt that we all want our aging parents to remain living independently in their own home. However, there may come a time when we need to intervene in order to safeguard their safety and general wellbeing.

When people get older, some of their abilities may change and they may need some assistance to a varying degree with finances, transport, or even personal hygeine.

So, how do you know when to step in? The best way to know is to get a geriatric assessment done. This would be particularly appropriate if you notice your parents showing symptoms such as memory loss or confusion which may be associated with dementia. Sometimes these signs can be a simple case of medication interactions or may be associated with other medical problems. A geriatric assessment will clarify whether this is the case.

An assessment determines a person’s ability to remain living independently based on their mental, physical, financial and environmental conditions. Of course, the parents need to be fully involved in the process as it is their quality of life that is at stake. This assessment may recognise the need for only minor interventions, enabling them to remain living in their own home for as long as possible. However, the support of others may put your mind at rest as well as making your parents’ life more enjoyable and safe.

So, how do you approach the subject with your parents? Family discussions about this topic can be difficult for all concerned but ignoring the problem won’t help anyone. It is best to discuss these matters before problems arise. This way, you know what your parents want and are able to plan in advance. This way you can abide by their wishes and be more able to help them live in a manner that they prefer.

If you feel that you cannot launch straight into personal subjects such as finances and so forth with your parents, then perhaps you may be able to give them a list of your concerns and arrange to talk to them after they have had a chance to think about them. This also gives them the chance to consider what is in their best interests and prepare to discuss their needs with you.

It is normal for parents to resist the thought of others delving into the subject of their independence and you need to respect that. If they tell you to mind your own business, try again another time. Give them some time to accept that it is something you are doing because you love them and care about their future.

Ask your parents about their own thoughts and concerns. Let them share their hopes for their older years as well as their worries about them. Don’t bombard them with everything in one go but have a number of conversations with them on different areas of their life.

These discussions could revolve around such topics as their current home and whether it will meet their needs in future years, their finances and how they will continue to support themselves, options for transport, health problems and so forth.

If there is an issue with health and safety, you need to recognise your parents’ right to make their own choices but at the same time, you need to be firm and compassionate. Tell them that they cannot ignore what is happening and explain what options they have. This way, they may admit to the problem, knowing that there are community services that can help without them having to necessarily move out of their home.

Don’t talk down to your parents. Remember, you are all adults and you are not ‘parenting’ them. Treat them as equals and as having the ability to make lifetime choices whilst still capable. After all, it is their quality of life that is at stake. You may not agree with their choices, but unless they are impaired by dementia, they still have the right to their own decisions.

Discuss with your parents the importance of working as a team in meeting their needs and respect their concerns. Often, aging parents worry about being a burden to their family. They may also worry that their family may take over their lives so it is imperative that you lay some ground rules for mutual respect. This includes discussing limits so that there are no unrealistic expectations on either part.



Rebecca

Are your Parenting Skills Good Enough?

Friday, June 20th, 2008
parenting
Clive Jenkins asked:


The preparation of having a baby is overwhelming, buying bottles, diapers, clothes and setting up the nursery, it is life long preparations in a way because we learn from our own parents and how we were raised.

Throughout this process you will find yourself daydreaming about beautiful days spend with your child and playing with them, but put all those dreams on hold for now. Those thoughts you had are all lovely but real life is not so. Parenting skills is also a requirement in the preparation process, and you better make sure you have good ones.

Being a Parent

The moment conception happens, your extremely challenging but gratifying job as a parent begins. This job is not a job you can quit when you do not like it anymore. It is a life long experience that rides on a rollercoaster, with sky high thrills and heart breaking downhill’s all throughout the way. To assist your child in learning how to cope with life and the ups and downs to it, you will need your parenting skills to kick in and guide you on the right path. This path will also lead you to self comfort in those difficult situations you will face in the future with your children.

You can’t go to the store and buy parenting skills, you can’t download it form the internet in a neat package, this is something you must become skilled at and gain. In order to become the parent you desire to be, you must investigate, allow us to help guide you where to look and get your questions answered:

Knowing you own kid, we all are different, and have unique character aspects that identifies us to be ourselves. We discovered that most children will copy their parents, and desire to follow into their footsteps, but then again there are those who do not want to be like their parents and defy. The children that rebel against what you have been used to are the ones you will need good parenting skills with, they will upset you and leave you discouraged at times.

Rediscover your inner child, you need to step inside your children’s shoes and remember what it was like to be a child, this is called rediscovering your inner child. You tend to forget how to relax and then get stuck in a bored lifestyle and stressful jobs. The best way to understand the issues at hand with your children is to place yourself in their shoes, and see things from their own perspective; you will then gain an understanding for how they are feeling and why they are rebelling. Good parenting skills will teach you how to listen to your child’s demands and not relinquish to them, but how to stand strong and view the issue in your child’s eyes and come to a solution that pleases both of you.

Some things that you will learn with good parenting skills is when to allow your child to win and when to make sure she loses in the battles you will face. There will be times when you have to disapprove of your child’s actions or attitude, but you do not want to this in a way that it will traumatize the child. Too much criticism is not good for any parent/child relationship.

Interested? Keep Reading To Discover Where To Find Good Parenting Skills

Who better to find out how to solve your parenting issues than to talk to someone who has went through it before? Online nowadays there are forums available, some with chat option, to find others who are already experienced in those problems you think are impossible to overcome. There are thousands of websites about parenting or related to parenting and you can find nearly any type of situation possible. Look at how others ended their issues; what their solution was and see if that may work for you as well.

Naturally, all this information cannot be processed by our brains in a day, it will probably take you a lifetime of learning, suffering and rejoicing before it is successful. The important thing to keep in mind is to never give up, and as long as you are open minded you have won half the battle already.



Troy

Caring For a Parent With Dementia

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
parenting
Brenda Shaylor asked:


As our parents age we can expect them to be confronted with one or more major health problems.What if that problem is Dementia,which can result from a number of illnesses such as Alzheimer’s Disease,Parkinson’s Disease,Stroke and many other conditions.

There are a number of things that we can do to make caring for a parent with dementia easier.

1.Keep a sense of humour.As painful as the situation is there are many times during the long,exhausting days when very funny things are said or done.Laugh about them together with your parent or spouse or friend,or even write them down.Humour and laughter are important ingredients in coping and staying healthy.

2.Provide a safe environment for your parent.There are a number of things to consider.For example,Does your parent wander at night,perhaps dressing and trying to go out in the middle of the night? Are the doors securely locked so your parent cannot easily open them?Is there a gate that can be locked to prevent wandering in the street? Are there rugs,furniture,toys or cords lying around that could cause your parent to trip and perhaps fall and break a bone?

3.At all times,regardless of how difficult or stressful you may be finding the situation,give your parent Dignity.There are times when it may seem as if your parent does not know you or some other family member,but we don’t really know what is going on in that person’s mind.How much do they actually know what is happening to them?This is so important.A few years ago a man I know had a brain hemorrhage and could not speak for many months.He later said that the whole time he could think normally and thought he was actually okay.So always give your parent the dignity they deserve and you would like if you were in their situation.

4.Make use of any government or community agencies that can help you carry your load.Many communities provide visiting nurses to assist with showering and other tasks,care workers who may sit with your parent while you have some respite,cleaners and other services.

5.Rest whenever you can.Caring for an aged parent with dementia is extremely exhausting,as is caring for anyone with a disability.We all need rest to be able to continue caring for our loved one for the longterm.

Allow other family members to assist.Make “YES” a part of your vocabulary when someone asks if they can do something to help.

6.In a similar vein,with your immediate family perhaps you can have a family discussion on what each family member can do to share the load.Include the children,as it helps them to learn the importance of caring and sharing within the family,and to be less self-centered than our modern world tends to create in our children.

7.Around the home put signs up indicating different rooms.For example,toilet,bathroom,Mum’s room and so forth.

8.Until your parent is no longer capable of doing so,give them small tasks to carry out.Perhaps if it is your mother give her a few small items from the washing to fold,even if she repeats the task over and over.Or if the patient is your father,he may be able to dry some small dishes or cups.It is good for your parent to feel they are of use,despite their deterioration which is so obvious to all around them.

9.Take time to sit and talk with your parent about things in their past.You will learn things you never knew about them.Share family photographs and talk about the people in them.

10.At times your parent may become agitated.Rather than argue with them it is better to change the subject,which will be quickly forgotten,or go out of the room for a few moments.

11.If your parent seems to have deteriorated suddenly there could be an underlying health problem,such as a bladder infection which is aggravating their condition.

12.Cherish the moments when your parent remembers some little incident that you thought was long forgotten.There is happiness in the sadness of caring for a parent with dementia.



Peter