Comments on: What should I do about the parenting situation that my wife and I are dealing with? http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/ A blog discussion about parenting. Fri, 18 May 2012 17:48:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: purple http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-453 purple Wed, 12 Nov 2008 10:58:27 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-453 you are right you are right

]]> By: star322_982000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-452 star322_982000 Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:55:07 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-452 tell her that women dont like mamas boys so if she wants them to have good relationships in the future then let you start teaching your boys how to be a man! that is your job and dont let her ruin that! she cannot teach your boys that but you can! tell her that women dont like mamas boys so if she wants them to have good relationships in the future then let you start teaching your boys how to be a man! that is your job and dont let her ruin that! she cannot teach your boys that but you can!

]]> By: gussie http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-451 gussie Sun, 09 Nov 2008 07:00:35 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-451 You and your wife should sit down and quietly discuss what you expect from your children.If you show a divided front in front of your children you will never be able to parent effectively. Children know when their parents disagree on an issue and will try to play one against the other. You have to support each other's decisions as parents .Children want and need boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them and that actions have consequences.No one said parenting is easy, just don't try to make it more complicated than it is.Remember united we stand, divided we fall.Good luck! You and your wife should sit down and quietly discuss what you expect from your children.If you show a divided front in front of your children you will never be able to parent effectively. Children know when their parents disagree on an issue and will try to play one against the other. You have to support each other’s decisions as parents .Children want and need boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them and that actions have consequences.No one said parenting is easy, just don’t try to make it more complicated than it is.Remember united we stand, divided we fall.Good luck!

]]> By: pieceomind4me http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-450 pieceomind4me Sun, 09 Nov 2008 03:36:20 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-450 You and your wife need to set up a rewards system for your children. One you both agree on. then you will teach them to work for what they receive. Plus remind her spoiled kids get beat up a lot more than kids who aren't You and your wife need to set up a rewards system for your children. One you both agree on. then you will teach them to work for what they receive. Plus remind her spoiled kids get beat up a lot more than kids who aren’t

]]> By: william h http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-449 william h Thu, 06 Nov 2008 10:16:27 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-449 Seek counseling for the family, most towns have an agency, not expensive. Seek counseling for the family, most towns have an agency, not expensive.

]]> By: writerchic06 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-448 writerchic06 Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:46:54 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-448 You have a legitimate concern and it is refreshing to see a father who notices. Print out what you just wrote and give it to your wife. Some times it is easier to express ourselves through the written word, then verbally. Verbally, things tend to get taken the wrong way and all parties get defensive. Explain that one day your children will be adults and in order for them to thrive successfully- they need to understand that they have to earn their keep in this world. That they won't be babies forever and with the type of world we live in - we have to prepare our kids for everything. Turn your television to that show on MTV called "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and if that doesn't change her mind, nothing will. If your wife doesn't change, then you make sure that you do the instilling. Trust me, your wife won't let them run over her or other people. You're on the right track. You have a legitimate concern and it is refreshing to see a father who notices. Print out what you just wrote and give it to your wife. Some times it is easier to express ourselves through the written word, then verbally. Verbally, things tend to get taken the wrong way and all parties get defensive. Explain that one day your children will be adults and in order for them to thrive successfully- they need to understand that they have to earn their keep in this world. That they won’t be babies forever and with the type of world we live in - we have to prepare our kids for everything. Turn your television to that show on MTV called “My Super Sweet Sixteen” and if that doesn’t change her mind, nothing will. If your wife doesn’t change, then you make sure that you do the instilling. Trust me, your wife won’t let them run over her or other people. You’re on the right track.

]]> By: Aslan http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-447 Aslan Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:00:53 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-447 no i don't think you are overacting at all - just the opposite - i think that between you there is trouble ahead. first off - whatever each of you may THINK don't disagree in front of the boys - present a united front to them at all times. second more communication between you to establish ground rules of the house thirdly stick to it - be consistent so that they children know that a 'no' from one doesn't mean that they can then go to the other for a 'yes'and play one off against the other. they may not get all they may want when they want it - but their NEEDS longer term are far more important. quit trying to be their 'friend' - they will make plenty of those at school - be a parent and set the boundaries before they get too old to get acquainted to that without ruining a relationship they could have with you. Spoilt children rarely have respect for the parents who have over indulged them as you have rightly observed (less really IS more) - so now is the time to bring in house rules and ENFORCE them. good luck no i don’t think you are overacting at all - just the opposite - i think that between you there is trouble ahead.

first off - whatever each of you may THINK don’t disagree in front of the boys - present a united front to them at all times.

second more communication between you to establish ground rules of the house

thirdly stick to it - be consistent so that they children know that a ‘no’ from one doesn’t mean that they can then go to the other for a ‘yes’and play one off against the other.

they may not get all they may want when they want it - but their NEEDS longer term are far more important.

quit trying to be their ‘friend’ - they will make plenty of those at school - be a parent and set the boundaries before they get too old to get acquainted to that without ruining a relationship they could have with you.

Spoilt children rarely have respect for the parents who have over indulged them as you have rightly observed (less really IS more) - so now is the time to bring in house rules and ENFORCE them.

good luck

]]> By: kat http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-446 kat Sat, 01 Nov 2008 13:43:22 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-446 You seem to need a mediator. She doesnt just ignore what you say she doesnt care. She feels as though she is the only parent. Are you absent? Does she have the children the majority of the time? You cant control the behavior of your wife but you can spend more time with the kids alone and parent them the way you want. I also think you have to seek family counseling to get a third party to mediate. You seem to need a mediator. She doesnt just ignore what you say she doesnt care. She feels as though she is the only parent. Are you absent? Does she have the children the majority of the time? You cant control the behavior of your wife but you can spend more time with the kids alone and parent them the way you want. I also think you have to seek family counseling to get a third party to mediate.

]]> By: treverjwilkins@hotmail.com http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-445 treverjwilkins@hotmail.com Wed, 29 Oct 2008 20:15:01 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-445 Yeah - been there done that... If only you can get your wife to the local library and choose some parenting books TOGETHER. My own daughter seems to have learnt from my mistakes - this is what she does with her partner and her li'l darlin; who seem to be working out just fine. But - hey - don't think you will ever have more control over your family than Bart Simpson (or his creator). Good luck, and don't worry too much - rather; make sure you make every minute count - they grow up and fly away too fast, yeah: wives too... Yeah - been there done that… If only you can get your wife to the local library and choose some parenting books TOGETHER. My own daughter seems to have learnt from my mistakes - this is what she does with her partner and her li’l darlin; who seem to be working out just fine. But - hey - don’t think you will ever have more control over your family than Bart Simpson (or his creator). Good luck, and don’t worry too much - rather; make sure you make every minute count - they grow up and fly away too fast, yeah: wives too…

]]> By: bramblerock http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/comment-page-1/#comment-444 bramblerock Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:03:44 +0000 http://www.bookparenting.com/parenting/what-should-i-do-about-the-parenting-situation-that-my-wife-and-i-are-dealing-with/#comment-444 You need to present a united front to the kids. When parents disagree the kids know it and they get the upper hand. They also don't respect you cause you can't stand your ground. First sit down with your wife and decide on some rules.Check with each other before making a decision about the kids.When your kids ask you if they can do something, check with the other spouse to see what they said. Respect each others decisions if she says no then its no. You can discuss the reasoning later out of the kids hearing. When my kids came to me to ask something I always asked what did your dad say or your dad and I will have to talk about it. The kids accepted this and they knew better than to play us against each other. Sometimes I really thought the kids should be allowed to do something when their dad said no but I respect him and sometimes we would talk and agree that next time this request came up we would say yes. Kids have to know you are in control.It's okay to say no sometimes. It sounds like you have some work ahead of you. Your kids will have to adjust to the new system so expect some tantrums and tears but stand firm. If you both want well adjusted kids you need to start now. Just be united with your decisions about the kids. Good Luck! You need to present a united front to the kids. When parents disagree the kids know it and they get the upper hand. They also don’t respect you cause you can’t stand your ground. First sit down with your wife and decide on some rules.Check with each other before making a decision about the kids.When your kids ask you if they can do something, check with the other spouse to see what they said. Respect each others decisions if she says no then its no. You can discuss the reasoning later out of the kids hearing. When my kids came to me to ask something I always asked what did your dad say or your dad and I will have to talk about it. The kids accepted this and they knew better than to play us against each other. Sometimes I really thought the kids should be allowed to do something when their dad said no but I respect him and sometimes we would talk and agree that next time this request came up we would say yes. Kids have to know you are in control.It’s okay to say no sometimes. It sounds like you have some work ahead of you. Your kids will have to adjust to the new system so expect some tantrums and tears but stand firm. If you both want well adjusted kids you need to start now. Just be united with your decisions about the kids. Good Luck!

]]>