Benson asked:
Obviously there are many joys to parenting and it’s not 100% suffering either.
Obviously there are many joys to parenting and it’s not 100% suffering either.
But I’m puzzled by people who participate in parenting forums (this one included) who act like they don’t know what you’re talking about when you ask a question about the stresses and grief that are inevitable aspects of parenting.
Seriously, what’s the motive behind this weird behavior?
Gail
Tags: Parents, Suffering, Weird Behavior
Reginald
People are weird. Seriously. Anyone with a brain knows that there is stress involved in parenting –afterall when you were a kid didn’t you do something completely dangerous or cause expensive damage?
Of course not everyone experiences every stress either. And some parents aren’t very involved in child rearing -maybe they have no stress.
Valerie
I have no idea if there is a motive but I totally know what your are talking about. Yeah parenting is great for the most part. It does create a lot of added stress in your life and totally wears you out.
Lucille
People like to ignore and not focus on the bad stuff.
If we talked about all the bad stuff all the time, then we would be locked away in a darkened room, rocking slowly…back and forth…back and forth…
Alicia
Sounds pretty strange to me to be pumping you full of crap, but if you are going to have a baby then a good parenting class could be invaluable.
Frances
hmmm…I can’t say I have any idea what you are talking about. Parenting is bliss!!
j/k
I think a lot of people are worried about appearing to be an “inadequate parent” and so they sugar coat everything in the hopes of appearing “perfect.”
It’s the same reason people emphatically argue their positions on circumcision, co-sleeping, breastfeeding/formula…they are afraid of being judged.
It takes self confidence to be able to admit it when something is beyond your ability and is stressing you out of your mind!
Heather
They’re in denial.
Jo
For some reason people like to put it out there that they are super parents who never get upset or angry or frustrated with their children and their childrens behavior. Personally those are the people I think we need to watch out for, they have to be putting that stress somewhere and one day it’s all going to come spilling out and theres going to be little that can stop it. These people are the ones that like to make everyone else feel bad for getting upset with their children, i tend to ignore them.
Randy
I have NO idea !! My 4 brothers and I certainly caused enough low-level grief to my parents from 1952-1986 (oldest birth to youngest college graduation).
I’m a step-father and often tear my hair out at some of the mischief my girls get into… and they are GOOD !!
Ah well… I raise a glass to my folks and other REAL parents out there.
Diane
It isn’t that we don’t think that there are stresses involved. But we take them in stride, why get upset or mad, why yell and scream, why get yourself more worked up. Most of the women on here are asking how to deal with a problem, so I know that I give them advice that is calm and collected. I never tell them that it is all fun and games, but you have to step back and think that while your little one is throwing a screaming fit in the middle of the grocery store, remember that at least he/she is healthy enough to be throwing that fit. Immagine not being able to have a child, or having a child that is physically or mentally disabled and how hard life must be. Why focus on the negative, always look at the good side. If you don’t how do you expect to get through the trials of parenting.
Gail
It’s a cult and we are trying suck people in…seriously, I don’t get it either. On a daily basis I am ready to pull out my hair and duct tape my kids to the wall. I’m a good mom, they are incredible kids but they drive me insane most days and I’m not afraid to admit that at all.
I love what I do as a SAHM and would not trade it for anything in world. It is the single most gratifying thing I have ever done ON A LARGE SCALE. On a smaller scale it is also the most stressful and difficult job I have ever had and that is coming from someone who was a marketing executive prior to having my son 4 years ago.
Raul
Don’t know the motive behind it. Maybe they just don’t want to admit that it is not what they thought it would be. But I feel like mosts of the people who responded, if you thought about the negative aspects of almost anything you do ie: go outside of your home, you would be NUTS. Enjoy the good times, ignore the bad> lol I still don’t know my motives for doing it again, I got some work to do.
Catherine
i know i think maybe some parents are afraid to amit that it hard to raise kids. i went into parenthood thinking it would be wondrful and so easy how hard could it be. welll it is stressfull and demanding i think its 50/50 good and just plain hard. i love these mom and dads who say its perfect and wonderful i am never tired or stress out . i say give me whatever you are taking cause some ddays i want to pull my hair out when my 14 month old is crying nonstop and i have had 4 hrs of sleep but i would not trade it but i am honest in how hard it is.
i think it comes down to we are supposed to be super moms who have all the time in the world for work/motherhood/wife/girlfriend/friend and still find me time. i just laugh it off when i ask a question like what you are talking about or if i see a question like that i try to give my own ways of dealing with it.
but yes it is kinda wird how no other mom out there wants to pull their hair out when things are not goinng as plan.
Amy
I used to rehabilitate aggressive dogs. Compared to that, parenting is a cakewalk. My son hasn’t viciously attacked me and drawn blood (yet).
My parents were excellent examples to learn from. My family is close and helps out and I have friends to talk to and visit. It makes a big difference. I wouldn’t have survived yesterday without the help of my family - with them, it was a good day.
Not every moment is easy. It’s a matter of attitude. I’m pretty easy-going anyway. My son might fuss and scream for a hour. Rather than be upset and stressed, I think about how much I’ll miss it when he’s bigger. I take lots of photos!
I want to remember the precious moments so I focus on those. I hope that doesn’t make me a sugar-coater.
Megan
“we” don’t want other to know or see that we don’t have it all together and we aren’t the perfect happy family and wonder moms that we wish we where if others see our flaws then we will have to face them as well and its easier to hide from them